Red House Diaries – October 2012
Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not.
- Unknown -
Pink Golf Balls – Back Story: As the Crow Flies, so Goes the Pink Golf Balls
I golfed again after the pink ball incident. The Course Marshall told us “Watch out for the crow. We had a tournament here a few days ago, and the players were using pink golf balls. The crow stole at least 9 of them.”
I used my pink golf balls anyhow, but kept an eye out for crows before I teed off. I only lost 2 pink balls that day – none to the crows, though. The water monster got them.
Canada and US Revisited – Back Story: Politics in Action.
Here in Canada, national political campaigns are brief: We begin by pretty much ignoring the whole thing for a few weeks – then there’s a debate, a little yelling, maybe some pointing, every leader buys a bunch of Timbits and, boom, suddenly it’s election day.
But in the United States, presidential campaigns last longer than all pregnancies and most wars.
- Scott Feschuk, MACLEAN’S Magazine, September 3, 2012 -
The United States currently has only two federal political parties with significant representation – the Democrats and the Republicans. In Canada, we have 4 ideologies to dislike – the Conservatives, the New Democrats, the Liberals and the Bloc Quebecois. Of course, both countries have many minor parties, though I think Canada has some of the most interesting ones: the Marijuana Party, the Pirate Party and my favourite, the Rhinoceros Party. If you were going to form your own party, what would you call it?
Disgusting Flavoured Jelly Beans – Back Story: Weekly Photo Challenge: Mine is Blue
I told you about Jelly Beans with horrible flavours – one of the comments I got suggested another one - school paste. This made me wonder if every occupation has a flavour that would be similarly revolting. Can you think of any that would fit your job?
Canadian Culture- Back Story: Fifty Shades of Grey.
Scott Feschuk, a sometimes very funny writer for Canada’s MACLEAN’S magazine, wrote a single chapter of a book he called Fifty Shades of Eh. Here is an excerpt:
I gaze upon him with my intrepid eyes. My mouth, which is also intrepid, curls into a sly smile. “
Did you remember the clamps?” I ask.
“Canadian Tire was closed. But I found a bunch of clothespins in the garage.”
I swoon. My breathing quickens. My heart beats a frantic tattoo as I surrender myself to the anticipation of languid erotic pleasures and several hours of splinter removal.
Maybe you would have to be conversant in Canadian culture to think this is as funny as I do. If you don’t shop at Canadian Tire, and you don’t know you can buy wood clothespins… well, sometimes context is everything. Here are a couple quotations with more worldly references:
On a scale of Voldemort to Pinocchio, how Nosy are you? – Unknown
On a scale of One to Osama Bin Laden how good was my hiding spot? – Unknown
When we first moved to England, much of what we read in the newspapers went right over our heads. We knew the words were English, but we hadn’t been there long enough to understand the cultural references. So, if you don’t know who Voldemort or Osama Bin Laden is, these two quotations will go right over your head too. Put on your thinking cap – can you come up with an “On a scale of” comparison?
Signage – Back Story: Stores and Signage
Here in the land of six months of ice and snow, many of us wouldn’t think of stepping off the tattered rug at the front door without removing our boots or shoes first. I don’t know if this is a Canadian thing or not.
Parking Ticket Machine Scores Again – Back Story: Give Me the Good Old Parking Meter, Please
Another trip to the city, another encounter with a parking ticket machine. We inserted our ticket, and the machine said we owed $7. The Car Guy inserted his credit card. The Card was refused. He tried another card. It was refused too. A parking attendant was standing nearby, and he said we would have to start again and use cash because the machine was refusing credit cards today. So we inserted the parking ticket again. This time the machine said we owed $8.75. (It costs $1.75 per half hour to park there, and we had stood there long enough trying to pay to move into the next half hour segment.) There is something essentially wrong when a parking attendant has to be posted next to a parking ticket machine…
Strange Things Happening
This post started life as a page called Addendum- which a few of you have already read. I decided to move it to the Post Section, and had to migrate the comments made by Al and Suzanne before I deleted that page. Unfortunately, Al and Suzaane’s comments now don’t display their gravatar. My gravatar has stayed attached to their comments, even though I have used their email address and blog link. Maybe WordPress will correct this after Halloween, but I expect not. WordPress does not have a tool that lets you easily move a comment from one place to another.
Happy Halloween, by the way!