Post #400 – Entitlement

You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln -

1. The facts: This is my 400th Post. I have been blogging for three and a half years. I get about 60 views a day.

2. My Complaint: My popularity expectations are not being met.

3. My Goal: I want to be immensely popular.  I don’t want to put a lot of effort into promoting my blog, nor do I wish to learn how to be a better writer or photographer. No, I just want what popular bloggers have.

4. My Cunning Plan: I’m going to start a new Entitlement Movement. I welcome your suggestions on what I should call it.

5. What my Entitlement Movement will demand:

• I want better wild animal photos for my blog. No one does a nicer job than the Canadian Photographer, Christopher Martin.  Oh sure, I could buy a camera like his, and learn how to use it, and spend days tramping through the wilderness – but I’d rather be sitting at my computer complaining. I think I am entitled to some of Christopher’s photos. He has lots of them.
• I want better wild flower photos. Montucky at Montana Outdoors is very good. He (at least I think he is a he) is American, not Canadian, but I spend enough money in the USA during the winter when I visit there, so I think I am entitled to some of his photos too.
• I want better drawings. I like the work of Doodlemum.  Yes, I suppose I could learn to draw better, but that would take a lot of time and like I said before, I’m better at complaining.
• I want unique and inventive content. Terry Border from Bent Objects, Nicole at The Middlest Sister and Dan at A LEGO a Day are three of my favourites. I admire their creativity. I don’t have that skill set, and I’m not even sure I have that kind of capability – but it is what I want, and someone should give it to me. I’m entitled.
• I want better stories. Most of my fellow bloggers are better writers than I am, so I want them to ghost write for me.
• I want the same viewer stats as that the top 1% of all bloggers. Why should they have so much, and I have so little?

It just dawned on me that I should be demanding better internet service too. I live in a rural area and the nearest internet tower provides “insufficient service” for my needs (“Insufficient service” – that is how my ghost writer would say it, I think). I know, I could move closer to where the services are – but it would be much better if they built a tower closer to my house. Not where I could see it, though. I don’t want my view destroyed.  It is bad enough that I can see power poles behind my property. I want all power poles to be underground so I can’t see them. I want all my power to come from the sun or the wind and I want it to be dirt cheap.

Speaking of my rural aspect, there are 17 pieces of property out my way and we were here long before the developers started to march across the horizon and build warehouses. We were here long before the nearest town became a city and annexed us. We were here first! I demand that all this newly developed land be given to me and that I be made President and CEO of all the enterprises that have replaced the homes of the moose and deer and fox.

I also want to have quicker access to an airport, but I don’t want planes flying over my place. Sometimes they are so loud that I can hear them above the howl of the wind and the buzz of the mosquitoes. (I want the wind and mosquitoes to go away too.)

Now I want to go have a nap. Organizing an Entitlement Movement is hard work. I think I need to find ‘people’ to do this stuff for me. I’m entitled to have someone arrange for my entitlements.

_________________

I am President of the NBFP Club – home of all those bloggers who feel they are under appreciated!

Speed Liking – Click Your Way to Fame

Blogging Question of the month from Virginia in New York:

Dear Margie: I am a WordPress.com blogger. When I publish a new post – within seconds, someone presses the WordPress ‘Like’ button. How can this be? They didn’t have time to read the post, so how do they know they like it? Is it possible they read as fast as Santa Claus travels on Christmas Eve?

Answer:

Dear Virginia – Yes, there is a Santa Claus – but there is no way that someone can read entire blog posts in just a few seconds. I’m afraid you are being scammed by the WordPress Reader. You see, besides showing the first few words of your post (and any pretty picture you inserted), the Reader also lets you ‘Like” and ‘Reblog” that post – without even going to your site!

I know you are going to ask what anyone gains from liking a post they haven’t even read. Virginia, Virginia – your questions just get easier and easier! The ‘Like’ button puts a reader’s Gravatar picture on the bottom of your post and that is the link back to their blog. If you are one of those bloggers who faithfully visits the blogs of those who ‘Like’ your post, then you will go read their latest post!

Now, some bloggers (me included) actually use the ‘Like’ button after they have read a post and they are simply saying “I Like what you have written, and I’d say so in the comments except 43 other people have already said “Nice Post!”  Unfortunately, less scrupulous bloggers are simply “Speed Likers”, and the only way WordPress could thwart that activity is if they take the ‘Like’ button off of the Reader.

Would you like to see another application of Speed Liking? Just watch this tongue-in-cheek video:

Weird is when someone you don’t know goes through all of your Instagram photos and likes them. Then when you click on their profile, there are only pictures of pigs.
- Unknown -

Resources:

The Idea for this post came from a blog called Mostly Bright Ideas. The blog post was titled “Five Thousand Whats”.

If you have read all the way down to this part of the page, and you are interested in more information about Gravatars, Commenting, and Reblogging – here are some helpful links:
Visiting Cards – Yesterday and Today
To Comment or Not to Comment, That is the Question
Comment Etiquette – All or Some?
When Does Reblogging Violate Copyright?
Reblogging and Image Copyright

The ‘Never Been Freshly Pressed’ Club

So You’ve Never Been Freshly Pressed! Then it is your lucky day, because you qualify for membership in the NBFP Club.  Yes, there are other bloggers just like you who have chosen WordPress.com but WordPress.com hasn’t chosen you… or them…

By my estimation, (and by virtue of my self appointed rank of President of NBFP I am authorized to do estimates) 99.9986% of WordPress bloggers have not, and never will be Freshly Pressed. Don’t ask me how I came to that conclusion. It is advanced math and like WordPress, I am not at liberty to tell you how and why I do what I do. Rest assured, however, that no matter how many of your fellow bloggers get Freshly Pressed and no matter how many of your fellow Bloggers are Freshly Pressed on numerous occasions, they still are a very small minority. There are, you see,  nearly 40 million new posts each and every month for WordPress to choose from!

I’m sure you are as excited about the NBFP Club as I am. You already know the benefits of Never Being Freshly Pressed, but let me itemize them for you (this is why I am President – I am organized too):

• no long lines of strangers hanging about your blog hoping to cash in on your fame
• no feelings of inadequacy if you don’t get Freshly Pressed again
• no depression when your site stats slip back to normal
• no need to live up to your past fame

Of course, the NBFP Club will be more than just a virtual reality. I’ve found us a clubhouse.

I know it doesn’t look all that good right now…

But my contractors assure me that with just a few renovations, this is what our place could look like. I think the restaurant and patio will be wonderful!

Since the inauguration of our club last week, we’ve rounded up a few bloggers who are eager to serve on our Board. The good thing about our Club is that anyone can be on the Board simply by volunteering to fill a position that they invent. How cool is that! So far we have:

• Al at thecvillean has chosen to be Treasurer. He directs all Members to send their dues to his Paypal account. (I was thinking the dues should be dark chocolate…)
• Al has also submitted an Oath of Allegiance: “I pledge allegiance to NBFP, and to the losers for which it stands, one blog group, overlooked by God, invisible, with WordPress injustice for all.” This Oath seems very Starry and Stripey – we may need different versions for different countries.
• Sallyann at Photographic Memories  will possibly chair the “I have as much chance of being ‘Freshly Pressed’ as …” Committee.  She submitted “I have about as much chance of being “Freshly Pressed” as the trousers which have been sitting in the bottom of my ironing basket for the last five years.”
• Barb at Before Morning Breaks  has volunteered to head up our Customer Service Department. She says she likes to complain, has an intermittent snarky attitude, and is a true believer that FP is connected to Nostradamus’ predictions…and will never come true.
• Mr. Cutter at The Cutter Rambles – He has volunteered to head up the Passive Aggressiveness Committee which will be in charge of coming up with things to say like, “I wouldn’t want the extra attention or followers. It would just distract me from writing for my TRUE readers.”
• Retiredruth at Life in the 50′s and Beyond is willing to take on the role of Gatekeeper. She would make sure that only members entered the Clubhouse and would say cool things like “Halt! Who goes there?”
• Elaine at I used to be indecisive has chosen to be Master of Indecision (or similar) and procrastinate at length over the pros and cons of anything that requires a decision to be made – particularly when a quick decision is needed!
• A Ponderer at Notes to Ponder has volunteered to monitor Space Weather. The task – to dutifully report incoming solar activity, with at least a 24 hour heads up when there is the slightest chance our computers might go down.

In addition to the officers listed above, here are bloggers who qualify for membership:

• Patti at Nylon Daze
• Dor at Virginia Views
• Val at Arty Old Bird
• An Artist at Pouring My Art Out
• Christine at The Good Stuff
• L8n at Back Road Scholar
• JSD at Undercover Surfer
• Cardinal Guzman at Cardinal Guzman
• Cheryl at My Freeze Frames

The following bloggers are among the chosen – that is, they were Freshly Pressed. But they seem to enjoy hanging out with us, so I thought I would mention their names. Here, then, are the NBFP Alumni.

• Steve at The Brown Road Chronicles. Steve is well known for his experiments with the writing enhancement drug ‘Freshlypresstosterone’.
• We had a Sergeant at Arms (k8edid), but she got Freshly Pressed recently.
• Mike at Mike Hardisty Photography was pressed after we formed the club too. His HDR photographs are wonderful, so he certainly deserved the recognition.
• Pegoleg at Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings
• Lorna at Lorna’s Voice
• Sylvia Morice at Write the Words, Share the Story
• Susan at Coming East
• Kylie at The Life of Kylie
• Margo at The Other Side of 55
• The Curmudgeon at Curmudgeon at Large
• Bronx Boy at Mostly Bright Ideas
• Alice at Alice at Wonderland
• Winseomebella at winsomebella has suggested our Club begin a new blog altogether in which we losers post our most loser-ly posts. Grand, overdone and pitiful, we would call it “Wrinkled Words: Not Good Enough for Freshly Pressed.”  Winsomebella was Freshly Pressed shortly after she posted this suggestion.
  

In Preparation for our next meeting, please note the following:

• Do you want to be on the Board of our Club? Just invent a position, and it is yours!
• We need a badge for our sidebar. Any designers out there?
• Tell all your Never Been Freshly Pressed friends about our club. You have my permission to reblog this post, or write your own post about our Club.
• If you were going to be Freshly Pressed, which post would you choose? Use the comments below to leave  a link.

Last, but certainly not least – add your name to our roster by leaving a comment below. If you have been Freshly Pressed, leave a comment too – something like “Gee, I sure wish I could give back my Freshly Pressedness so that I could join your club!”

Facebook Thinks Your Life is Boring

You see this tuna? This tuna is boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life.
- Offer “Vince” Shlomi (Commercial for Slap Chop)

Have you ever watched the Sham Wow, Slap Chop or Schticky commercials on TV? I always crack up when Vince, the consummate salesman, says “You’re gonna love my nuts” – as he is using the Slap Chop to dice up the items that will make your food preparation (and your life) more exciting.

Vince makes the prospect of ‘being fleeced’ fun. He knows he is an old time snake oil salesman, and he doesn’t try to hide it.

Less fun – okay downright annoying – is the advertising on Facebook. Facebook used to be just a social network – the place where I tell all my friends  how The Car Guy is recovering from his Motorcycle Accident and my friends say they are glad to hear the news. Or the son-in-law posts a photo of us on New Years Eve, and we respond by saying “Surely our cheeks and noses weren’t that red!”

Facebook’s prime purpose isn’t social networking any more. It has morphed into a sophisticated and annoying vehicle for selling product. Advertising is displayed on my Home Page in a column down the right side. Today it is for Plus Size Separates, Party Photography, Criminal Pardons, Rachael Ray’s Hollywood Diet and an Investment that looks like a pyramid scheme.

That is fairly easy to ignore, but advertisements are also sprinkled in with all the posts from my friends. They are called ‘Suggested Pages’.  Should I be offended that one of these pages was an advertisement for Botox? Well yes! I can’t imagine a more offensive product (to me, anyhow) than botox.