So You’ve Never Been Freshly Pressed! Then it is your lucky day, because you qualify for membership in the NBFP Club. Yes, there are other bloggers just like you who have chosen WordPress.com but WordPress.com hasn’t chosen you… or them…
By my estimation, (and by virtue of my self appointed rank of President of NBFP I am authorized to do estimates) 99.9986% of WordPress bloggers have not, and never will be Freshly Pressed. Don’t ask me how I came to that conclusion. It is advanced math and like WordPress, I am not at liberty to tell you how and why I do what I do. Rest assured, however, that no matter how many of your fellow bloggers get Freshly Pressed and no matter how many of your fellow Bloggers are Freshly Pressed on numerous occasions, they still are a very small minority. There are, you see, nearly 40 million new posts each and every month for WordPress to choose from!
I’m sure you are as excited about the NBFP Club as I am. You already know the benefits of Never Being Freshly Pressed, but let me itemize them for you (this is why I am President – I am organized too):
- no long lines of strangers hanging about your blog hoping to cash in on your fame
- no feelings of inadequacy if you don’t get Freshly Pressed again
- no depression when your site stats slip back to normal
- no need to live up to your past fame
Of course, the NBFP Club will be more than just a virtual reality. I’ve found us a clubhouse.
I know it doesn’t look all that good right now…
But my contractors assure me that with just a few renovations, this is what our place could look like. I think the restaurant and patio will be wonderful!
Since the inauguration of our club last week, we’ve rounded up a few bloggers who are eager to serve on our Board. The good thing about our Club is that anyone can be on the Board simply by volunteering to fill a position that they invent. How cool is that! So far we have:
- Al at thecvillean has chosen to be Treasurer. He directs all Members to send their dues to his Paypal account. (I was thinking the dues should be dark chocolate…)
- Al has also submitted an Oath of Allegiance: “I pledge allegiance to NBFP, and to the losers for which it stands, one blog group, overlooked by God, invisible, with WordPress injustice for all.” This Oath seems very Starry and Stripey – we may need different versions for different countries.
- Sallyann at Photographic Memories will possibly chair the “I have as much chance of being ‘Freshly Pressed’ as …” Committee. She submitted “I have about as much chance of being “Freshly Pressed” as the trousers which have been sitting in the bottom of my ironing basket for the last five years.”
- Barb at Before Morning Breaks has volunteered to head up our Customer Service Department. She says she likes to complain, has an intermittent snarky attitude, and is a true believer that FP is connected to Nostradamus’ predictions…and will never come true.
- Mr. Cutter at The Cutter Rambles – He has volunteered to head up the Passive Aggressiveness Committee which will be in charge of coming up with things to say like, “I wouldn’t want the extra attention or followers. It would just distract me from writing for my TRUE readers.”
- Retiredruth at Life in the 50′s and Beyond is willing to take on the role of Gatekeeper. She would make sure that only members entered the Clubhouse and would say cool things like “Halt! Who goes there?”
- Elaine at I used to be indecisive has chosen to be Master of Indecision (or similar) and procrastinate at length over the pros and cons of anything that requires a decision to be made – particularly when a quick decision is needed!
- A Ponderer at Notes to Ponder has volunteered to monitor Space Weather. The task – to dutifully report incoming solar activity, with at least a 24 hour heads up when there is the slightest chance our computers might go down.
In addition to the officers listed above, here are bloggers who qualify for membership:
- Patti at Nylon Daze
- Dor at Virginia Views
- Val at Arty Old Bird
- An Artist at Pouring My Art Out
- Christine at The Good Stuff
- L8n at Back Road Scholar
- JSD at Undercover Surfer
- Cardinal Guzman at Cardinal Guzman
- Cheryl at My Freeze Frames
The following bloggers are among the chosen – that is, they were Freshly Pressed. But they seem to enjoy hanging out with us, so I thought I would mention their names. Here, then, are the NBFP Alumni.
- Steve at The Brown Road Chronicles. Steve is well known for his experiments with the writing enhancement drug ‘Freshlypresstosterone’.
- We had a Sergeant at Arms (k8edid), but she got Freshly Pressed recently.
- Mike at Mike Hardisty Photography was pressed after we formed the club too. His HDR photographs are wonderful, so he certainly deserved the recognition.
- Pegoleg at Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings
- Lorna at Lorna’s Voice
- Sylvia Morice at Write the Words, Share the Story
- Susan at Coming East
- Kylie at The Life of Kylie
- Margo at The Other Side of 55
- The Curmudgeon at Curmudgeon at Large
- Bronx Boy at Mostly Bright Ideas
- Alice at Alice at Wonderland
- Winseomebella at winsomebella has suggested our Club begin a new blog altogether in which we losers post our most loser-ly posts. Grand, overdone and pitiful, we would call it “Wrinkled Words: Not Good Enough for Freshly Pressed.” Winsomebella was Freshly Pressed shortly after she posted this suggestion.
In Preparation for our next meeting, please note the following:
- Do you want to be on the Board of our Club? Just invent a position, and it is yours!
- We need a badge for our sidebar. Any designers out there?
- Tell all your Never Been Freshly Pressed friends about our club. You have my permission to reblog this post, or write your own post about our Club.
- If you were going to be Freshly Pressed, which post would you choose? Use the comments below to leave a link.
Last, but certainly not least – add your name to our roster by leaving a comment below. If you have been Freshly Pressed, leave a comment too – something like “Gee, I sure wish I could give back my Freshly Pressedness so that I could join your club!”