Do You Like You? Being Comfortable in Your Skin

‘Try’ by Colbie Caillat : “It’s this song I’ve had in my head my entire life about personal insecurities, imperfections, self-confidence issue. I thought I was the only person who felt that way and now I release this song that so many people around the world are relating too, so many different age ranges, men and women.”

Beauty is about perception, not about make-up. I think the beginning of all beauty is knowing and liking oneself. You can’t put on make-up, or dress yourself, or do you hair with any sort of fun or joy if you’re doing it from a position of correction.
– Kevyn Aucoin –

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you probably realize I am not a big fan of the Beauty Industry. It is not that I am against many of the products. I’m just against the entire multi-billion dollar machine that tells women they aren’t good enough unless they use these products.

I’m against women being told they must color their hair or hide their wrinkles or paint their faces or wear certain clothes or lose weight – in order to be beautiful.

I’m against glossy advertisements that sell a dream that is unrealistic and unattainable.

I’m against skinny models and botox and fad diets.

I’m against any activity that pits women against women in a contest to see who is more beautiful. I’m against child beauty pageants, the catty world of tabloid magazines and touched up photos in print media.

I’m against anything that makes women feel inferior if they don’t conform to a set of standards.

On the lighter side, I am curious why Google sent people to my blog after they typed in these search terms:

– are there medical research on how to get rid of grey hair
– picture of someone who looks older than their age due to stress

Was Google thinking of this photo of me when they sent people to my site?

Post 182

24 comments

  1. Funny to think of folks who find your site with those search terms – but I’ll bet that someone will take encouragement from it before they move on!

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  2. This was beautifully timed. After many years of yo-yo dieting, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that my metabolism and genetic heritage will allow me to be skinny and unhappy and hungry all the time, or the 21st-century equivalent of a good solid Norwegian farmgirl with those stereotypical Danish round cheeks and the English rose complexion that I was delighted to inherit from my British grandma. As long as I’m strong and healthy, I think I’m OK with eating seconds of good food and the occasional cookie, and not worrying too much about the number on the tag in my jeans.

    I’m even vaguely considering letting my hair go back to its natural shade … I currently color it to the shade it was when I was in grade school, since it looks SO much better with my skin tone than the bland brown that it faded to after I had kids. I’m starting to see silver streaks though, and if I get enough of them I might just let the blond go and roll with it … we’ll see. 😉

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    • Hi Bee. You go girl! (Or maybe, as in my case, go grey girl!) I get the yo-yo dieting. I lose the same few pounds every summer, and they come back and find me every winter. I don’t even try to get rid of the pounds that didn’t all leave after I had the kids. They seem to be permanently fixed to my thighs… So be it!

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        • Welcome to my blog, It’s My Thoughts! I don’t personally know anyone who has used botox – at least not anyone who has admitted to it! I live near a small city of 40,000 people and I know of a clinic there that offers the treatment, so I’d say it is something that is in demand by “josephine average”.

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      • I have seen it being offered in many beauty parlours now too so it is definitely in demand.. but honestly on tv all the celebrities on tv look stiff and plastic after having it done.. waste of money really..

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  3. Love your post and must comment on this one,. I so agree with you.,.Women are being reeled into defying age. Some of us age more gracefully than others and we hate to address “how old are you ?” So in an effort to cheaply defy age….when I am asked ” how old are you?”….I add 15 years to my age…I am 45 however I will reply 59. Dang I look good for 59..You keep posting and I will keep reading and hopefully we will both stay out of trouble…

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    • Hi SS. There is a mammoth industry that tries to convince women to defy their age. The eternal fountain of youth is only a myth – it doesn’t live in a bottle or a jar!

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  4. It is a hard discussion to get involved with. I think it is all about confidence and if people have that life is a lot easier but sometimes using products or dying their hair gives them the confidence or helps them express who they are to the world. I suppose I am alright with it as long as it is done for yourself and not for others or because someone else dictates too. Good post!
    Astra Wally

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    • Hi Astrawally. I’m okay with using products that let people express themselves. Whether it is clothes, or make up or hair dye, life would be boring without experimentation.
      What I’m not okay with is an industry that tells women they are not beautiful and strong and confident unless they use certain products. Every women is perfect just the way they are, and any industry that works to undermine that should be outlawed.
      The hair dye industry is a good example. If it wants to advertise how fun it is to try out different colors, then that is fine by me. But when their advertisements make it seem like it is the worst thing in the world to have grey hair, then they are playing on the insecurities that women have about ageing. That bothers me.

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      • Yeah I understand that. Not the use of the product but the fact that someone is telling you ‘you won’t be happy or fit in without it’. It is a tragedy that people can pull and play on everyone’s little insecurities like that, just to make a buck!
        Astra Wally

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  5. Great post, Margie! How come when we women grey, we’re described as looking old but a man is considered distinguished? I’ve never colored my hair and don’t intend to. It’s way too expensive, and once you start, you have to keep it up. I’d rather spend my money somewhere else, like going out to eat. Life is too short to not enjoy it!

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    • Hi CE. Yes, grey haired women are said to look extinguished – men are distinguished. Just more mind games from the industry, but women buy into it. I really don’t think women will find the equality that they want until they tell the beauty industry to take a hike.

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  6. ~standing ovation~ Well said! I was ranting about the beauty-hype recently. It’s ridiculous and it’s in the health industry as well. I was looking at a medical magazine and the models in their ads/articles were just like the beauty-magazines/industry ones. I would have never thought that a health magazine would have pandered to the standards that the beauty industry has set. Someone should give them a good old down-home-talking-too about what a normal healthy person reasonably looks like.
    I’ve come to the conclusion that the ‘Industry’ geared towards women’s health and other issues is all about money and very few companies in the business actually care about women.

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    • Hi E.C. – I agree, that most magazines that are geared towards women put an awful lot of energy into selling women products and very little energy into telling women they are just fine the way they are.

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  7. Hi Margie,
    Loved you post and so true. The amount of money that is made from a lot of products most aimed at women is unbelievable, they did try to make a lot of money out of the guys, but it didn’t work. Remember when they started all the male products for the “modern man” it didn’t last very long at all.
    I’m also one of those women that don’t waste my money on products that I don’t need or are more sales pitches than anything else, my hair at the moment is the salt and pepper look, and I think it looks great and suits me and that is all the matters, as long as you can be happy with what you have, you can save your money for some fun times. 🙂

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    • Hi Magsx2 – I see some ads on the TV for men’s hair dye. They try to tell men that the grey in their hair means they are too old to be considered for certain jobs, or women won’t want to date them. I don’t imagine many men will buy into that!

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  8. This is an awesome post! I just agree wholeheartedly! What’s sad is that it is affecting the attitudes of how we women treat each other in public. A lot of young girls are having breast implants at the age of 16 now. Girls are being “implanted” with the idea that you must look a certain way in order to be considered beautiful & accepted. My oldest daughter is 14 and has school friends who own tanning beds and tan in their homes. I could write a whole list but you get the point. While outer natural beauty is great, Truest beauty really does come from within and we women are losing it. Myself being guilty of it at times as well. One thing I did determine however in my own life is that I am not going to get plastic surgery as I age more just to keep up. I’m gonna be OLD & Natural. LOL

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    • Hi Escaperofstorms – I agree that it is sad how the concept of beauty invades our children’s lives at a very early age. It is also very hard to be totally immune to it ourselves. We are surrounded by so much media pressure to conform!

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  9. Hi Margie, I know this post is an older one but I felt compelled to comment. When I begin to falter in regards to my natural beauty I look in a mirror and remind myself that every grey hair, every line on my face even my “frown line” are all service stripes I earned parenting, being a reliable friend and a respectful daughter. When I remind myself of this my smile gets brighter, I stand taller, and my step lightens.
    Ta Ta for now, Cathy the Bagg Lady

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