Fifty Shades of Grey in Photographs

‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ – I wish I had thought of that title for my blog. Can you imagine how many visitors I’d get every day? Disappointed visitors, of course, when they discovered that fifty shades of grey described my hair colour and not my review of a hugely successful erotic novel – which I haven’t read.

No, to me fifty shades of grey describes the colour of the headstones in  an old cemetery. (This one is in Rodemack, France.)

Headstone inscriptions don’t usually refer to the deceased person’s steamy sex life, but this one in Moultrie, Georgia did (assuming it is true):

Here lies the father of 29.
He would have had more
But he didn’t have time.

Fifty shades of grey also describes the rocks and sand on a beach. (This one is at Deception Pass in Washington.)

Beaches are thought to be very romantic places, though spring break in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida isn’t so much about romance as ‘Sex on the Beach’.

An early morning fog at Lake Conroe, Texas. A comfy Tete`-a-tete´ chair waits for the couple to sit and enjoy their morning coffee. The air is warm, the fog creates an intimate envelope of fifty shades of grey.

I have many more photos that are fifty shades of grey and I suppose human intimacy could have taken place at one time or another in many of them. But I really don’t want to know about it, any more than I want to read erotic mommy porn. So, look somewhere else for a review of “Fifty Shades of Grey!”

Gray hairs seem to my fancy like the soft light of the moon, silvering over the evening of life.
– Jean Paul Richter

____________

Scott Feschuk, a sometimes very funny writer for Canada’s MACLEAN’S magazine, wrote a single chapter of a book he called Fifty Shades of Eh. Here is an excerpt:

I gaze upon him with my intrepid eyes. My mouth, which is also intrepid, curls into a sly smile. ”
Did you remember the clamps?” I ask.

“Canadian Tire was closed. But I found a bunch of clothespins in the garage.”

I swoon. My breathing quickens. My heart beats a frantic tattoo as I surrender myself to the anticipation of languid erotic pleasures and several hours of splinter removal.
– Scott Feschuk –

Post 354

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29 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Grey in Photographs

    • Thanks Barb. I appreciate your concern. When I find time to breathe normally again, I’ll do another blog post about the interesting challenges of caring for a man who crashed a motorcycle. One unexpected benefit is that I’ve lost 12 pounds in 7 weeks without even having to exercise!

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  1. You may not have any intention of reading “Fifty Shades of Grey”, but those two chairs at Lake Conroe seem primed for a Cialis commercial 😉 If you want to read a hilarious review of “Fifty Shades of Grey” that will be a great substitute for actually reading the book, I’d like to recommend this one by my friend, and humor writer, Roz Warren. (Unlike myself, Roz is a fully recovered lawyer). http://womensvoicesforchange.org/sexy-saturday-fifty-shades-of-omg.htm

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    • I hope the owners of the chairs read your comment!
      Thanks for the link to the review – very good!
      There is a You-Tube video of Ellen Degeneres reading the book (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on3JCwnwHbU) and it has some funny bits in it.
      Susan Schoenberger has this to say about the book: “If fine writing is like bittersweet truffles, this book is like a wad of Gummi Bears stuck to your back teeth.”
      Really, the reviews are far more interesting to read than the book, I think.

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  2. Excuse me while I sneeze out the Cabernet I snorted in while reading this post! 50 shades of Grey in a cemetery?!! Oh Margie, you absolutely cracked me up. As for the book, when visited my mother in the hospital a few weeks ago, I noticed that the rack of big print books of “50 Shades of Grey” were sold out – made me wonder who was reading thisn book and where 🙂

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  3. Love the way you used 50 Shades in your post. I did read the first book in the trilogy (bought it at the Toronto airport to read on the plane), and felt as if it should have come wrapped in brown paper. Carried it around with the cover facing in towards my body so nobody would see what it was. So let me just say this…would much rather read about cemeteries and fog and beaches any day!

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  4. I LOVe that Richter quote, as well as your beautiful photos. Although I’m still pretty disappointed that there wasn’t any porn on this-here blog – you lured me in under false pretenses.

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