Grammar and Punctuation at the Bar Quotations

The QuipperyThere are many ‘a man walks into a bar’ jokes, including:

Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

A dyslexic walks into a bra…

There are many variations that include animals, including:

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “We have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper says, “You have a drink called Freddy?”

There are also a few grammar and punctuation bar jokes:

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

A group of homophones wok inn two a bar.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

An ellipsis walks into a bar and says…

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

A period walks into a bar and comes to a full stop.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out! We don’t serve your type.”

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

Two Quotation Marks walk “into a bar”.

– Various Authors, including The Bluebird of Bitterness, Eric K. Auld –

10 thoughts on “Grammar and Punctuation at the Bar Quotations

  1. OK, but this is a long one.

    A young man, poorly dressed, with a scrappy little dog are just about to go into a bar when a man coming out says ‘Whoa, they don’t allow dogs in there.’
    The young man nods, continues into the bar, walks straight forward, stops at the bar, stares straight ahead, and asks barman for a drink.
    ‘We don’t allow dogs in here’ say the barman
    ‘It’s my guide dog’, the young man replies.
    ‘Guide dog!! Guide dogs are Alsations, Labradors, dogs like that.’
    The young man, still looking straight ahead, replies ‘Why, what have they given me?’

    Liked by 1 person

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