Quippery
Comments 9

Cats Quotations

12-cats-intent

A cat, our new Maine friends claimed, is always on the wrong side of the door.
– Allen & Ivy Dodd –

After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.
– Charlotte Gray –

A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it.
– Henry David Thoreau –

A tortoise-shell cat having a fit in a platter of tomatoes…(description of Turner’s painting ‘The Slave Ship’)
– Mark Twain –

Am writing an essay on the life-history of insects and have abandoned the idea of writing on ‘How Cats Spend their time’.
– W.N.P Barbellion –

Anybody can herd cattle, but holding together ten thousand half-wild shorthairs – well, that’s another thing altogether.
– EDS Commercial –

As a kitten, this cat never slept on the outside of the bed. She waited until I was in it, then she walked all over me, considering possibilities.
– Doris Lessing –

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
– Ellen Perry Berkely –

Cat hair adheres to everything but the cat.
– Author Unknown –

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
– Garrison Keillor –

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
– Joseph Wood Krutch –

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
– Jeff Valdez –

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
– Joseph Wood Krutch –

Chasing the cat is more fun than catching it.
– Cynthia Copeland Lewis –

Dogs may fawn on all and some
As they come;
You, a friend of loftier mind,
Answer friends alone in kind;
Just your foot upon my hand
Softly bids it understand.
– Algernon Charles Swinburne – A Poem About Cats –

How beautiful it is to do nothing and then rest afterwards.
– Spanish Proverb –

I always explain to our cats that if I discover them catching baby chicks I will donate them to the National Bureau of Standards, where they will live out the rest of their lives helping to determine the exact size of rooms not big enough to swing a cat in…
– John F. Adams –

I bet cats are pissed they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
– SnarkECards –

I don’t think it is so much the actual bath that most cats dislike; I think it’s the fact that they have to spend a good part of the day putting their hair back in place.
– Debbie Peterson –

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it’s because the water is cold in there. And I’m like, how did my mother know that?
– Wendy Liebman –

I had my cat neutered. He’s still out all night with the other cats, but now it’s only as a consultant.
– Author Unknown –

If Cats could talk, they wouldn’t.
-Nan Porter –

If somebody calls you and you don’t care to come and still don’t wish to make it a direct insult – wash.
– Author Unknown –

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
– Mark Twain –

If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.
– Cynthia Copeland Lewis –

If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat.
– Author Unknown –

In ancient times, cats were worshiped as Gods; they have not forgotten this.
– Terry Pratchett –

It may be said on behalf of a recently developed robot cat that it needs no food, drink or litter box. Controlled by a microchip, it is capable of purring, crying when spoken to and even rolling in various directions at the owner’s handclap. Call that a cat? Unless they can program it to come home with a half-chewed ear, drop a dead mouse at your feet and stalk contemptuously from the room, it’s an imposter. If it does anything on human demand, it’s no cat.
– Author Unknown –

It’s really the cat’s house – we just pay the mortgage.
– Author Unknown –

I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink tongue. “Cat, I would lend you this book to study but it appears you have already read it.” She looks up and gives me her full gaze. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she purrs, “I wrote it.”
– Dilys Laing, “Miao” –

Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives.
– Stephen Baker –

Kittens play with yarn – they bat it around. What they’re really saying is, “I can’t knit, get this away from me!
– Author Unknown –

My cat may manipulate me psychologically, but he’ll never type or play piano.
– Stephen J. Gould –

Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does.
– Author Unknown –

Never try to outstubborn a cat.
– Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love –

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.
– Leo Dworken –

The cat sitting at the keyboard of the computer explains to the cat watching: “So far I’ve discovered I was in a litter of eight and my mother’s name was Fluffy!”
– Author Unknown – comment about Genealogy Research –

The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domestic animal.
– Compton MacKenzie –

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.
– Paula Poundstone –

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Author Unknown –

This time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
– Lewis Caroll –

When I am playing with my cat, how do I know she is not playing with me?
– Michel de Montaigne –

With the qualities of cleanliness, discretion, affection, patience, dignity and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of being cats?
– Fernand Mery –

This entry was posted in: Quippery

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Photos and Stories with a Canadian perspective. My three blogs showcase my main interests: Birds and Bugs; Plants and Places; Current Affairs.

9 Comments

  1. Every one of these was hilarious. I am owned by a cat. I’m grateful that most of the time he’s a benevolent dictator, but on the days he decides to be a terrorist, life is a bit challenging.

    The best laugh-out-loud moment – “Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose”. BWAHAHAHAHA!!

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  2. I am a devoted “cat person”, currently residing with a single female cat, but having had the pleasure of sharing my home with many furry friends over the years (and up to three at a time). Until I met my husband, I was convinced I would end up as the “crazy cat lady at the end of the lane” (he tolerates my passion for cats, but holds the line at how many I can bring into the house at any one time at two). Every one of these quotes struck a cord with both myself and my cat, Sylvia, who often sits in front of my computer to ensure I am making the most of my online time (her favourite videos feature birds, frolicking small mammals, or very fast motorcycles!) 🙂

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    • How fortunate you have a cat that is perhaps computer literate. Could come in handy some day if you don’t have a grand-child to assist you in these matters when you are older.

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      • My granddaughter (at just-about-four) is already pretty darn computer literate; the cat “types” sometimes but she’s much happier just lying in front of the monitor, watching what I’m doing.

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  3. Excellent list, Margy! Hard to choose a favourite, though I like the neutered cat one! I always liked ‘The Cat Who Walked By Himself’, short story by Kipling.

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    • I had never read that tale before now. Explains everything!
      “Then the Man threw his two boots and his little stone axe (that makes three) at the Cat, and the Cat ran out of the Cave and the Dog chased him up a tree; and from that day to this, Best Beloved, three proper Men out of five will always throw things at a Cat whenever they meet him, and all proper Dogs will chase him up a tree.”

      Liked by 1 person

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