Military Quotations

The QuipperyBritain has invented a new missile. It’s called the civil servant – it doesn’t work and it can’t be fired.
– General Sir Walter Walker –

Friendly fire – isn’t.
– Author Unknown –

Have you ever stopped to ponder the amount of blood spilled, the volume of tears shed, the degree of pain and anguish endured, the number of noble men and women lost in battle so that we as individuals might have a say in governing our country? Honor the lives sacrificed for your freedoms.
– Richelle E. Goodrich –

Knowledge dominance does scare us as Marines. General George Armstrong Custer probably thought he had knowledge dominance, too. Any time you think you’re smarter than your adversary, you’re probably about a half-mile from the Little Big Horn.
– Colonel Art Corbett, USMC –

If it moves, salute it; if it doesn’t move, pick it up; and if you can’t pick it up, paint it.
– Author Unknown –

If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots.
– Napoleon Bonaparte –

I know a lot of you are going through separation anxiety… but there’s nothing I can do about getting a Tim Hortons in Kabul.
– Al Howard, Col., brigade commander to troops leaving for Afghanistan –

I know of nothing so absolutely pitiless as weather.
-John McCrae, letter from the trenches January 25, 1917 –

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks still bravely singing fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead: Short days ago,
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved: and now we lie
In Flanders fields!

Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you, from failing hands, we throw
The torch: be yours to hold it high
If ye break faith with us who die,
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields
– Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae Composed at the battlefront on May 3, 1915
during the second battle of Ypres, Belgium –

It is the soldier, not the reporter, Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet, Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the organizer, Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier, Who salutes the flag, Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag, Who allows the protestor to burn the flag.
– Father Dennis Edward O’Brian, USMC –

Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon … And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air … and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth — boxes of Crayolas.
– Robert Fulghum (All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things) –

Never in the face of human conflict has so much been owed by so many to so few.
– Winston Churchill, Battle of Britain –

Nothing is so good for the morale of the troops as occasionally to see a dead general.
– Field Marshal Slim –

Perhaps it’s time the nations of the world forgot about the whole tenuous idea of a lasting peace and just settled down to making some rules for a nice, safe war.
– Jack Scott, From our town 1959 –

The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer.
– Air Force Motto –

There are no fat war photographers.
– Peter Howe, author of “Shooting Under Fire” –

There are some who’ve forgotten why we have a military. It’s not to promote war, it’s to be prepared for peace.
– President Ronald Reagan –

The reason we call ships ‘she’ is that it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder.
– Chester W. Nimitz –

Very little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost it.
– Eric Nicol -Say Uncle 1961 –

War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
– John Stuart Mill –

We fight for lost causes because we know that our defeat may be the preface to our successors victory.
– T.S. Eliot –

When retired Air Force General and internationally famous test pilot Chuck Yeager was on tour promoting his book, a newsman showed him a picture of two World War II planes in a dogfight. Attempting to gauge Yeager’s feelings about war, the wiley newsman asked Yeager for his thoughts on the picture. Yeager’s coolly drawled response was, “The object is not to be in the picture.”
– News Report on Chuck Yeager –

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
– Author Unknown –

When you have a hammer, all problems start to look like nails.
But nations without great military power face the opposite danger: When you don’t have a hammer, you don’t want anything to look like nails.
– Robert Kagan –

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at once.
– Robert A. Heinlein –

The Best of Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron (May 19, 1941 – June 26, 2012) was an American journalist, writer, and filmmaker. She is best known for romantic comedy films such as ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and ‘Sleepless in Seattle’.

Prior to her death she made a list called ‘What I Won’t Miss’. This included dry skin, email, dead flowers, the sound of the vacuum cleaner and small print. ‘What I Will Miss’ included her husband and children, spring, waffles, bacon, fireworks, twinkle lights, coming over the bridge to Manhattan and pie.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.

Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five.

Don’t buy anything that is 100 percent wool even if it seems to be very soft and not particularly itchy when you try it on in the store.

Freedom of the press belongs to the man who owns one.

If Sigmund Freud had watched Phil Donahue he would never have wondered what women want.

I have a theory that children remember two things – when you weren’t there and when they threw up.

I have been forgetting things for years – at least since I was in my 30s. I know this because I wrote something about it at the time; I have proof. Of course I can’t remember exactly where I wrote about it or when, but I could probably hunt it up if I had to.

I look out the window and I see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world’s greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance.

I’ve always felt that one of the mistakes people make is that they try to do something that is just slightly beyond their skill set, and then feel they’ve failed.

My mother was a good recreational cook, but what she basically believed about cooking was that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.

Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.

Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don’t take it off until you’re thirty-four.

Some people pretend to like capers, but the truth is that any dish that tastes good with capers in it tastes even better with capers not in it.

…the amount of maintenance involving hair is genuinely overwhelming. Sometimes I think that not having to worry about your hair anymore is the secret upside of death.

The Wonderbra is not a step forward for women. Nothing that hurts that much is a step forward for women.

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Why do people write books that say it’s better to be older than to be younger? It’s not better. Even if you have all your marbles, you’re constantly reaching for the name of the person you met the day before yesterday.

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.

Refrigerator Quotations

The Quippery

A little work with an ordinary household screwdriver can provide a handy and non-confrontational way of limiting the beer consumption of your partner. Simply remount the door on the other side after his 10th can of lager and he won’t be able to figure out how to open it before the commercial break finishes.”
― Andre the BFG, Andre’s Adventures in MySpace –

Anyone who’s ever put a stamp on an envelope or a note on their refrigerator knows what it’s like to make a collage. There’s no esoteric technique.
– Elliott Hundley –

Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters–which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing up away from home I sometimes miss the familiar cool breeze coming from the open refrigerator.
– Calvin Trillin –

Figuring out why people who choose not to do something don’t in fact do it is like attempting to interview the elves who live inside your refrigerator but come out only when the light is off.
– Eileen Pollack –

Giving a politician access to your wallet is like giving a dog access to your refrigerator.
– Tim Barber –

How many times have you been watching an episode of ‘South Park’ and thought, ‘I’d like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?’
– Trey Parker –

If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
– Joey Adams –

I think anything can be forced to converge. The problem is that products are about tradeoffs, and you begin to make tradeoffs to the point where what you have left at the end of the day doesn’t please anyone. You can converge a toaster and a refrigerator, but those things are probably not going to be pleasing to the user.
– Tim Cook –

It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren’t so handy in the refrigerator.
– Hugh Allen –

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
– Dave Barry –

My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, ‘There’s nothing to eat!’
– Erma Bombeck –

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
– Erma Bombeck –

My wife left a note on the fridge that said “This isn’t working. I’m going to my mom’s.” I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I’m not sure what she was talking about.
– Author Unknown –

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
– Demetri Martin –

On a very local scale, a refrigerator is the center of the universe. On the inside is food essential to life, and on the outside of the door is a summary of the life events of the household.
– Robert Fulghum –

Open your refrigerator door, and you summon forth more light than the total amount enjoyed by most households in the 18th century. The world at night, for much of history, was a very dark place indeed.
– Bill Bryson –

The ecclesiastical description of Hell is that of a horrible place of fire and torment; in Dante’s Inferno, and in northern climes, it was thought to be an icy cold region, a giant refrigerator.
– Anton Szandor LaVey –

The thing to remember is that children are temporary. As soon as they develop a sense of humor and get to be good company, maybe even remember to take the trash out and close the refrigerator door, they pack up their electronic equipment and their clothes, and some of your clothes, and leave in a U-Haul, to return only at Thanksgiving.
– Barbara Holland –

This is a haiku
Haiku’s don’t have to make sense
― Author Unknown –

We never talked to each other in my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.
– Judy Gold –

When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.
– Bonnie McFarlane –

With two sons born eighteen months apart, I operated mainly on automatic pilot through the ceaseless activity of their early childhood. I remember opening the refrigerator late one night and finding a roll of aluminum foil next to a pair of small red tennies. Certain that I was responsible for the refrigerated shoes, I quickly closed the door and ran upstairs to make sure I had put the babies in their cribs instead of the linen closet.
– Mary Blakely –