All posts filed under: The Quippery

The Quippery

Ambushed by the Best Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians are sentences that ambush you. They have an unexpected shift in meaning in the latter part of a sentence or phrase – that you didn’t expect from the first part of the sentence. Sometimes they also play on the double meaning of a particular word. Here are some examples that I found on sites about paraprosdokians, or that I’ve chosen because they seem to fit the definition. A fool and his money are soon elected. – Will Rogers – A good cook needs storage, a bad cook needs a dog. – IKEA sign in a store – And I, I took the road less traveled by. I was using a GPS system. – Robert Brault – Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what’s for lunch. – Orson Welles – By trying, we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean. – Mark Twain – Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. – Robert C. Gallagher – Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot …

The Best Puns Ever – Let’s Taco ’bout Them

A Pun is a type of word play where a phrase or sentence suggests two or more meanings. This could occur when one of the words has more than one meaning, or when one or more of the words sounds very similar to another word or words. Some people say puns are the lowest form of wit, but I really admire people who have the mental agility to think of them! ‘Chip ‘n Other Chip’ liked the ‘nacho’ and ‘taco’ pun the best! The following examples are my favourites. A A backward poet writes inverse. A boat carrying red paint has crashed into a boat carrying blue paint. The crew have been marooned. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired. A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper. A dog breeder crossed a setter and a pointer at Christmas time and got a pointsetter. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. A Freudian slip is when you say …

fish in glass half full or empty

Life Lessons – How Full is Your Glass

You have probably received this email several times: “A woman was explaining stress management to an audience. She was holding a  half glass of water. Everyone thought she was going to ask the question, ‘half empty or half full? Instead, she asked “How heavy is this glass of water?” The audience’s answers  ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz. She replied , “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes – and that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it …

Playing with the Word ‘Egg’ – New Spellings for Old Words

What shape could be more simple looking than an Egg? Nature recognized that the Egg was eggsactly the type of ineggspensive, eggstremely simple container needed for many housing situations. With an eggsternal shell that would survive eggstreme conditions (barring eggsplosions), the egg was an eggsellent choice where eggsessive sharp edges were undesirable for the eggspectant mother when it was time to eggspell it. I like eggs, and have written two other egg stories: Precisely and Eggs-actly – simple mathematics to eggsplain the shape of an egg, plus an arithmetic lesson from Calvin and Hobbes. Much Ado About the Devil – a bit about what you need to know about the devil and deviled eggs. I eggspect some of you are eggsperts, and will add further egg insights via the comment section. It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of …

wit wisdom words poster

A Few of the Many Types of Wit, Wisdom and Wordplay

I collect humorous quotations and combine them with photos. Then I print them and put them into binders and give them to my family and friends. I’ve made quite a few of these books over the years. Some day I’d like to recreate them on my computer so that I can look at them too! Many of the quotations I collect are Epigrams, which are short, clever and memorable sayings.  They are wit and wisdom presented in a concise statement. Ingenious, thoughtful, pithy and sometimes caustic or satirical, the definition of an epigram can be longer than an actual epigram itself! To be safe on the Fourth Don’t buy a fifth on the third. – James H. Muehlbauer – I also like the Pun, or “Groaner“, which is described as being verbal acrobatics. It is a play upon words that uses the ambiguity between similar-sounding words for humorous purposes. A vulture boards a plane, carrying two dead possums. The attendant looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carry on allowed per passenger.” And I can’t resist the Understatement which makes …