A Ghost in Landscape Mode

A Special Report from our ‘Rover’ reporter, Ghost the Dog:

Hi Peoplekind!

This photo shows me thinking. It might look like sleeping, but you can see I have one eye open. I do my best thinking when I’m in ‘landscape mode’ – and what better place to stretch out than on a people couch!

Right now, I’m thinking about what The Gamma Dog (owner of this blog but not owner of me) meant when she told me politicians are sometimes kind of whackadoodle (it’s an election year and The Gamma Dog tells me all sorts of things when we go for a walk. I don’t think anyone else wants to listen to her anymore). A Wackadoodle – all I’ve come up with so far is that it must be a kind of poodle cross that I’ve not seen  at the dog park.

I’m not that impressed with Poodles, really. Our common ancestor was a prehistoric wolf! I see a lot of wolf in me, but a poodle – well let’s just say they developed along a branch that should have been lopped off before it got as far as it did.

The Gamma Dog  tells me that because I am a dog, I don’t see as many colours as some people. (I don’t really remember what issue we were discussing when we got onto this topic.) I’m red-green colour blind. The Car Guy is colour blind too, so we have that in common. When I visit their house, I am The Car Guy’s shop dog. I don’t get to go into the house. I thought when I quit piddling a lot, I might get a house pass. Sadly no. The Gamma Dog says if I could leave my coat outside, she’d let me in. (I shed a lot…) Plus, she says I can’t chew sticks in the house and I can’t knock stuff off shelves with my tail. That would be a lot to give up just to see if her couch is comfortable.

Well, that’s if for now. I really have to go to sleep but if you want to read more about me, just click on Ghost.

 

 

 

And That Ended The Card Game

Hi again. My name is Ghost. I’m this blogger’s daughter’s dog. The last time I ‘blogged’, I was back in Puppy Classes again. I think they went rather well for my owners. I wasn’t as impressed, because apparently I am going to have to get used to ‘coming when I’m called’ and all sorts of other infringements on my love of absolute freedom.

Freedom to do what I want. Case in point is this ‘incident’ from before puppy classes. I had a sleep-over at the aunt’s house. The whole family was playing cards on this flat topped piece of wood (that looked like the floor).  They called it a ‘table’, but I didn’t have one of those at my house yet, so how was I to know that it was off limits to me!?

Anyway, I thought it would be okay if I joined the card game, so with a speed that surprised even me, I unlocked, launched and landed right onto the middle of the table. Then I settled down to wait for whatever might happen next.

For a minute, Auntie and the family had that look on their faces that people  get when something unexpected happens, even though that unexpected thing was within the realm of possibilities of what a free spirited puppy might do if it is… lets say curious.

Later, when Auntie was asked why she didn’t immediately scoot me down off the table, she explained, “It was like watching a train wreck. Suddenly there was a dog in the middle of the table. We could either get the dog off the table or we could all just get our phones out and take pictures of the ‘damage’…”

For more stories about me, click this link: Ghost (that’s my name). Ghost, now you see me on the floor, now you see me on the table, now you see me in the dog house… again…

Dog Quotations

The Quippery

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
– Robert Benchley –

A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.
– Helen Thomson –

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog.
– Barbara Holland –

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
– Author Unknown –

Dog – a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world’s worship.
– Ambrose Bierce –

Dogs remember faces, cats places.
– Author Unknown –

Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mail man is not to be trusted.
– Sian Ford –

Every boy who has a dog should also have a mother, so the dog can be fed regularly.
– Anonymous –

From the dog’s point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.
– Mabel Louise Robinson –

If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody elses dog around.
– Will Rogers –

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
– Phil Pastoret –

If your dog doesn’t like someone you probably shouldn’t either.
– Unknown –

In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
– Dereke Bruce –

It’s all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone.
– Sign at an Animal Hospital –

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.
– Penny Ward Moser –

Know thyself. Don’t accept your dogs admiration as conclusive.
– Mayes –

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.
– Joe Weinstein –

My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum…
— Elayne Boosler –

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.
– Christopher Morley –

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx –

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.
– Franklin P. Jones –

The difference between dogs and cats is that dogs come when they’re called. Cats take a message and get back to you.
– James Dent –

They say a reasonable amount o’ fleas is good fer a dog – keeps him from broodin’ over bein’ a dog, mebbe.
– Edward Noyes Westcott –

They say the dog is man’s best friend. I don’t believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered…
– Larry Reeb –

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy.
– Sign at a Veterinary Hospital –

We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet.
– Rita Rudner –

When did I look at a new puppy and see only puddles instead of something to love that would love me back?
– Erma Bombeck –

When picking a pet, keep in mind that to a dog, you’re family; to a cat, you’re staff.
– Ron Dentinger –

What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
– Sign at a Veterinary Clinic –

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, “My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”
– Dave Barry –

You can teach an old dog new tricks with the right kind of doggie treats.
– Cynthia Copeland Lewis –

Here’s why I will be a good person. Because I listen. I cannot talk, so I listen very well. I never deflect the course of the conversation with a comment of my own… For instance, if we met at a party and I wanted to tell you a story about the time I needed to get a soccer ball in my neighbor’s yard but his dog chased me and I had to jump into a swimming pool to escape, and I began telling the story, you, hearing the words “soccer” and “neighbor” in the same sentence, might interrupt and mention that your childhood neighbor was Pele, the famous soccer player, and I might be courteous and say, Didn’t he play for the Cosmos of New York? Did you grow up in New York? And you might reply that, no, you grew up in Brazil on the streets of Tres Coracoes with Pele, and I might say, I thought you were from Tennessee, and you might say not originally, and then go on to outline your genealogy at length. So my initial conversational gambit – that I had a funny story about being chased by my neighbor’s dog – would be totally lost, and only because you had to tell me all about Pele. Learn to listen! I beg of you. Pretend you are a dog like me and listen to other people rather than steal their stories.
― Enzo the Dog in ‘The Art of Racing in the Rain’ by Garth Stein –