Mildly Amusing Missives #7 – Happiness Is…

Not Too Serious Politics

Albrecht Dürer and Parti Rhinocéros
Logo used by the Rhinoceros Party of Canada in the 20th century. Taken from the 1515 ink drawing by the German painter Albrecht Dürer.

The Parti Rhinocéros or Rhinoceros Party, was a Canadian political party from 1963 to 1993.

Informally called ‘The Rhinos’, the party was started  by Jacques Ferron, a Canadian physician and author. The rhinoceros was chosen as their symbol  because politicians are: “thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger…”

The organizers said they were Marxist-Lennonist, which was a tip of the hat to Groucho Marx and John Lennon. The party platform was described as being ‘two feet high and made of wood’.

Music from a Marble Machine

Isn’t this just about the most amazing machine you have ever seen?

More from Wintergaten.

A Clothes Dryer

I saw a cartoon that showed two women standing in the backyard, admiring a nicely pegged line of clothes on a clothesline. The one woman remarks, “It dries the washing using the very latest technology – a combination of solar and wind power.”

How many of you remember using that technology? There was little to nothing blissful about it. It was brutal in the winter, wicked on a windy day, useless when it was raining and shitty when some birds landed on the lines.

I love my dryer…

Watching a Snow Video in the Summer

This Video was especially funny the first time we saw it because we were in Arizona during the storm.

Things That Tell The Truth

Small Children
Drunk People
Yoga Pants

What would you add to this list of things that tell the truth?

The Lighter Side of Canadian Governments

That Good Looking Bullshitter in a Suit

Justin (Trudeau) looks more and more like a regression to the mean, a nice guy with influential friends but still just another ordinary good-looking bullshitter in a suit.
– Crawford Kilian, The Tyee –


Background to the cartoon: Liberal Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has threatened to sue Conservative Party Leader Scheer over Scheer’s statements that Trudeau interfered with the prosecution of Montreal firm SNC-Lavalin and lied to Canadians about it. This  ‘scandal’ has led to two resignations: Trudeau’s Principal Secretary, G. Butts and Michael Wernick, the Clerk of the Privy Council (who is also head of the federal public service). Trudeau also ousted two members of his party because they criticized his behavior.

It’s Just Other People’s Money

As Margaret Thatcher once pointed out, “The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.”

In 2016, under the left wing NDP government, Alberta’s capital city, Edmonton, lost roughly 15,000 private-sector jobs, but it gained 14,000 provincial public-sector ones. The debt and deficit increased as did government intervention in the form of income redistribution and regulation. Albertans recently said, enough is enough – and elected a more fiscally Conservative government.

Two Ways to Deal with a Coyote

In British Columbia (perhaps):
The Premier is jogging with his or her dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Premier’s dog, then bites the Premier.
The Premier starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the province $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
The Premier goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and to get his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish and Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
The Premier spends $50,000 in provincial funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area. The provincial legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The Premier’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The Province spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the province.

In Alberta:
The Premier is jogging with his or her dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.
The Premier’s security agent shoots the coyote, drags it into the bushes and keeps jogging.
The Premier has spent $0.50 on a cartridge.
The crows eat the dead coyote.

Trudeau Goes to India

Justin Trudeau’s India visit has proved one thing. He has more Indian outfits than all the men in my family combined!
– Anu Menon @ExLolaKutty –

Budgets Balance Themselves

Trudeau says that we need to “rethink concepts as basic as space and time.” Intelligent people say “we need to rethink Trudeau.”
– David Jacobs @DrJacobsRad –

The Liberal Party campaigned on a pledge to run short-term deficits in order to stimulate the economy and return to balance before the 2019 federal election. That didn’t happen because what Mr. Trudeau really meant was “the commitment is to grow the economy and the budget will balance itself.” Unfortunately, budgets aren’t self balancing. Finance Canada now predicts the deficit could be erased by 2045.

Not Enough Parachutes

A small plane had 4 passengers on board…
the Russian President Vladimir Putin,
the American President Donald Trump,
the Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau,
and a boy scout.

All of a sudden, the engine caught fire.The pilot explained to the passengers that the plane was gliding but losing altitude… it would crash in 6 minutes. Another problem was that there were 5 people on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The Russian president suddenly exclaimed “We are the best country in the world” – he grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The American president exclaimed “We are the most powerful country in the world” – he grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The Canadian Prime Minister exclaimed “I’m the brains of Canada” and he grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The pilot turned to the boy scout and said “Well son, there’s 2 of us left and only 1 parachute.” The boy scout looked at the pilot and said “No worries… the brains of Canada just took my backpack.”

Mildly Amusing Missives #6 – Tweets

What You Should Know About Naps

Too Many Words

How Much of your Day is Spent in Landscape Mode?

Trump Derangement Syndrome

So You Want Something for Nothing

Will Great Britain Ever Leave the EU?

But after two years of watching one deadline give way to the next, does anyone really believe Britain will meet this one?
– Emma Ross-Thomas, Bloomberg –

Who You Were Will be More Important Than Who you Became
So You Think You are Overtaxed?

Canadian Taxes on Gasoline: Federal Tax, Provincial Tax, Sales Tax and Carbon Tax.

On the Food Front

Bathroom Thoughts

Ever notice that public restrooms sometimes mount the paper towel dispenser so high that the water drips up your arms when you reach for the towel? (Or maybe that is just something that happens to short people…) Some restrooms only have air blowers and they are so weak you finally just wipe your hands on your pants.

Do you agree that you should  “Avoid using the handicapped stall unless you are entitled to do so?” I think that is bad advice. The handicapped are perfectly capable of waiting a few minutes for their stall to become available and it is silly to leave a stall vacant when there is a long line of people waiting to use the facilities.

What did you find Mildly Amusing this week?