Insects and Other Invertebrates Quotations

Ant

The Quippery

Ants are healthy because they have little antibodies.
– WallingfordSign.com –

Ants can carry twenty times their own body weight. Which is useful information if you’re moving out and you need help getting a potato chip across town.
– Ron Darian –

Here are a few things to keep in mind the next time ants show up in the potato salad. The 8,800 known species of the family Formicidae make up from 10% to 15% of the world’s animal biomass, the total weight of all fauna. They are the most dominant social insect in the world, found almost everywhere except in the polar regions. Ants turn more soil than earthworms; they prune, weed and police most of the earth’s carrion. Among the most gregarious of creatures, they are equipped with a sophisticated chemical communications system. To appreciate the strength and speed of this pesky invertebrate, consider that a leaf cutter the size of a man could run repeated four-minute miles while carrying 750 lbs. of potato salad.
– R.Z. Sheppard –

I bought an ant farm. I don’t know where I am going to get a tractor that small!
– Steven Wright –

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
– Bill Vaughan –

Bee

Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn’t know it so it goes on flying anyway.
– Mary Kay Ash –

Bees shouldn’t be so nice and fuzzy.
– Cynthia Copeland Lewis –

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
– William H. Walton –

Butterfly, Caterpillar

Even if you make a really nice place for it to live, with grass and dirt and a few rocks and sticks, the caterpillar will still spend all its time trying to get out of the jar.
– Cynthia Copeland Lewis –

Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway, and today, I saw one. It got on at 42nd, and off at 59th, where, I assume it was going to Bloomingdales to buy a hat that will turn out to be a mistake – as almost all hats are.
– Nikolaus Laszlo, Nora Ephron, and Delia Ephron, You’ve Got Mail –

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.
– Richard Buckminster Fuller –

True you’re a butterfly now, but you still think like a caterpillar.
– Shaun Murphy and Layton Fisher –

Ladybug

How brave a ladybug must be!
Each drop of rain is big as she.
Can you imagine what you’d do,
If raindrops fell as big as you?
– Aileen Fisher –

Ladybugs all dressed in red
Strolling through the flowerbed.
If I were tiny just like you
I’d creep among the flowers too!
– Maria Fleming

The Ladybug wears no disguises.
She is just what she advertises.
A speckled spectacle of spring,
A fashion statement on the wing….
A miniature orange kite.
A tiny dot-to-dot delight.
– Patrick Lewis, “The Little Buggers” –

The ladybug’s a beetle.
It’s shaped like a pea.
Its color is a bright red
With lots of spots to see.
Although the name is ladybug
Some ladybugs are men.
So why don’t we say “gentleman bug”
Every now and then?
– Author Unknown –

Mosquito

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
– Betty Reese –

If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.
– Author Unknown –

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up the food chain as we think.
– Tom Wilson –

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.
– Andy Warhol –

We’ve all known intimidation – one mosquito in a dark bedroom.
– Chan Harris –

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
– Author Unknown –

Other

After the planet becomes theirs, many millions of years will have to pass before a beetle particularly loved by God, at the end of its calculations will find written on a sheet of paper in letters of fire that energy is equal to the mass multiplied by the square of the velocity of light. The new kings of the world will live tranquilly for a long time, confining themselves to devouring each other and being parasites among each other on a cottage industry scale.
– Primo Levi –

God in His wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.
– Ogden Nash, “The Fly” –

Great fleas have little fleas
upon their backs to bite ’em
and little fleas have lesser fleas
and so ad infinitum.”
– DeMorgan, Budget of Paradoxes –

House, n. A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
– Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary –

Life is hard for insects. And don’t think mice are having any fun either.
– Woody Allen –

Some primal termite knocked on wood;
and tasted it, and found it good.
That is why your Cousin May
fell through the parlor floor today.
– Ogden Nash –

The Amazon rain forest has 2.5 million species of insects. That’s more bugs than iOS 7.
– Internet meme, c.2013 –

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter — it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.
– Mark Twain, letter to George Bainton, 1888 –

The mortal enemies of man are not his fellows of another continent or race; they are the aspects of the physical world which limit or challenge his control, the disease germs that attack him and his domesticated plants and animals, and the insects that carry many of these germs as well as working notable direct injury. This is not the age of man, however great his superiority in size and intelligence; it is literally the age of insects.
— Warder Clyde Allee –

Though snails are exceedingly slow,
There is one thing I’d like to know.
If I out run ’em round the yard,
How come they beat me to the chard?
– Allen Klein –

To see every day how people get the name “genius” just as the wood-lice in the cellar the name “millipede”—not because they have that many feet, but because most people don’t want to count to 14—this has had the result that I don’t believe anyone any more without checking.
— Georg Christoph Lichtenberg –

Two-legged creatures we are supposed to love as we love ourselves. The four-legged, also, can come to seem pretty important. But six legs are too many from the human standpoint.
– Joseph W. Krutch –

Spider

The difference between utility and utility plus beauty is the difference between telephone wires and the spider web.
– Edwin Way Teal –

Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.
– Author Unknown –

Under our floor,
Spider families.
Two worlds – an inch apart.
– Mike Garofalo, Cuttings –

Worm

Bait – Live Worms – Guaranteed to catch fish or die trying.
– Author Unknown –

I wish I were a glow worm,
A glow worm’s never glum.
‘Cuz how can you be grumpy
When the sun shines out your bum?
– Author Unknown –

Bird Quotations

16-baby-delivery

A wonderful bird is the pelican
His bill will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week,
But I’m damned if I see how the helican.
– Dixon Lanier Merritt –

Bluebirds have taught me a few things. First, the more you think you know, the more you have to learn. Second, never say never because they will fool you every time! Third, they have taught me to stop sweating details in my life and learn to enjoy the simple things. There are things far greater than ourselves out there, going on unnoticed right before our eyes.
– Malinda Matsuko, Bluebirder, 2005 –

Despite their having one wing trimmed, some ravens do in fact go absent without leave and others have had to be sacked. Raven George was dismissed for eating television aerials, and Raven Grog was last seen outside an East End pub.
– The Ravens, Tower of London –

Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
– Jason Hutchison or John Benfield –

GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird’s intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an “author,” there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl’s thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.
– Ambrose Bierce –

If you feel the urge, don’t be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?
– Will Rogers –

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.
– Franklin D. Roosevelt –

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
– Steven Wright –

Owl took Christopher Robin’s notice from Rabbit and looked at it nervously. He could spell his own name WOL, and he could spell Tuesday so that you knew it wasn’t Wednesday, and he could read quite comfortably when you weren’t looking over his shoulder and saying “Well?” all the time…
– The House at Pooh Corner, A.A. Milne –

People who say that an anorexic “eats like a bird” have clearly had no experience with bluejays.
– David J. Beard (1947–2016) –

Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies for instance.
– John Ruskin –

Robins have an extremely high rate of nest fidelity. I know “nest fidelity” sounds like an investment group, but it actually means that robins regularly return to the same breeding site each season.
– Bird Watcher’s General Store –

Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
– Author Unknown –

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
– Author Unknown –

So, little snowbird, take me with you when you go.
To that land of gentle breezes where the peaceful waters flow
-Gene MacClellan, “Snowbird,” sung by Anne Murray –

That reminds me, a salt-water crocodile, a great white shark and a Canada Goose walk into a bar…
-Author Unknown –

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression.
– Gary Larson –

You’ll have a lot more respect for a bird after you try making a nest.
– Cynthia Copeland Lewis –

We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just sort of coasting from the previous flap?
– Jack Handey, Deeper Thoughts: All New, All Crispy –

Dog Quotations

The Quippery

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
– Robert Benchley –

A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.
– Helen Thomson –

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog.
– Barbara Holland –

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
– Author Unknown –

Dog – a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world’s worship.
– Ambrose Bierce –

Dogs remember faces, cats places.
– Author Unknown –

Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mail man is not to be trusted.
– Sian Ford –

Every boy who has a dog should also have a mother, so the dog can be fed regularly.
– Anonymous –

From the dog’s point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.
– Mabel Louise Robinson –

If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody elses dog around.
– Will Rogers –

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
– Phil Pastoret –

If your dog doesn’t like someone you probably shouldn’t either.
– Unknown –

In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
– Dereke Bruce –

It’s all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone.
– Sign at an Animal Hospital –

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.
– Penny Ward Moser –

Know thyself. Don’t accept your dogs admiration as conclusive.
– Mayes –

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.
– Joe Weinstein –

My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum…
— Elayne Boosler –

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.
– Christopher Morley –

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx –

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.
– Franklin P. Jones –

The difference between dogs and cats is that dogs come when they’re called. Cats take a message and get back to you.
– James Dent –

They say a reasonable amount o’ fleas is good fer a dog – keeps him from broodin’ over bein’ a dog, mebbe.
– Edward Noyes Westcott –

They say the dog is man’s best friend. I don’t believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered…
– Larry Reeb –

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy.
– Sign at a Veterinary Hospital –

We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet.
– Rita Rudner –

When did I look at a new puppy and see only puddles instead of something to love that would love me back?
– Erma Bombeck –

When picking a pet, keep in mind that to a dog, you’re family; to a cat, you’re staff.
– Ron Dentinger –

What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
– Sign at a Veterinary Clinic –

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, “My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”
– Dave Barry –

You can teach an old dog new tricks with the right kind of doggie treats.
– Cynthia Copeland Lewis –

Here’s why I will be a good person. Because I listen. I cannot talk, so I listen very well. I never deflect the course of the conversation with a comment of my own… For instance, if we met at a party and I wanted to tell you a story about the time I needed to get a soccer ball in my neighbor’s yard but his dog chased me and I had to jump into a swimming pool to escape, and I began telling the story, you, hearing the words “soccer” and “neighbor” in the same sentence, might interrupt and mention that your childhood neighbor was Pele, the famous soccer player, and I might be courteous and say, Didn’t he play for the Cosmos of New York? Did you grow up in New York? And you might reply that, no, you grew up in Brazil on the streets of Tres Coracoes with Pele, and I might say, I thought you were from Tennessee, and you might say not originally, and then go on to outline your genealogy at length. So my initial conversational gambit – that I had a funny story about being chased by my neighbor’s dog – would be totally lost, and only because you had to tell me all about Pele. Learn to listen! I beg of you. Pretend you are a dog like me and listen to other people rather than steal their stories.
― Enzo the Dog in ‘The Art of Racing in the Rain’ by Garth Stein –