Truth, Knowledge and Learning Quotations

11-understand The Quippery

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
– Mark Twain –

As we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don’t know we don’t know.
– Donald Rumsfeld, while serving as George W. Bush’s Secretary of Defense –

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as much as you please.
– Mark Twain –

I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
– Author Unknown –

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
– Mark Twain –

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
– Robert McCloskey –

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
– P.J. O’Rourke –

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
– James Thurber –

Ideas don’t stay in some minds very long because they don’t like solitary confinement.
– Unknown

If there’s something going on out there that I don’t know about, I think I’d know about it.
– William Shatner, TekWar –

Just when you think you’ve got all the answers, they change the questions.
– Author Unknown –

Logic is a large drawer, containing some useful instruments, and many more that are superfluous. A wise man will look into it for two purposes, to avail himself of those instruments that are really useful, and to admire the ingenuity with which those that are not so, are assorted and arranged.
– Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon –

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
– Winston S. Churchill –

No one now dies of fatal truths: there are too many antidotes to them.
– Nietzsche’s Human, all too Human –

…nobody really likes capers no matter what you do with them. Some people pretend to like capers, but the truth is that any dish that tastes good with capers in it, tastes even better with capers not in it.
– Nora Ephron –

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
– Doug Larson –

On an important decision one rarely has 100% of the information needed for a good decision no matter how much one spends or how long one waits. And, if one waits too long, he has a different problem and has to start all over.”
– Robert K. Greenleaf, Servant As Leader –

Some so speak in exaggerations and superlatives that we need to make a large discount from their statements before we can come at their real meaning.
– Tryon Edwards –

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
– Farmers Almanac, 1997, Volume 180 –

The little girl had the making of a poet in her, who, being told to be sure of her meaning before she spoke, said, “How can I know what I think till I see what I say?”
– Graham Wallas –

The researches of many commentators have already thrown much darkness on this subject, and it is probable that, if they continue, we shall soon know nothing at all about it.
– Mark Twain –

The truth is out there? Anyone know the URL?

There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.
– ANAÏS NIN, diary, Fall 1943 –

Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who do.
– Robert K. Mueller –

Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold.
-Leo Tolstoy –

We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.
– Author Unknown –

Details Quotations

The QuipperyI cannot walk through the suburbs in the solitude of the night without thinking that the night pleases us because it suppresses idle details, just as our memory does.
– Jorge Luis Borges –

My boyfriend, like a lot of men, takes great pride in his car. Honey, his car is detailed, waxed, and vacuumed weekly. On the other hand, my car looks like a really big purse.
– Diane Nichols –

Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.
– Jean-Paul Sartre –

Our life is frittered away by detail…. Simplify, simplify.
– Henry David Thoreau –

Someone asked someone who was about my age: “How are you?” The answer was, “Fine. If you don’t ask for details.”
– Katharine Hepburn –

The English light is so very subtle, so very soft and misty, that the architecture responded with great delicacy of detail.
– Stephen Gardiner –

The essence of success is that it is never necessary to think of a new idea oneself. It is far better to wait until somebody else does it, and then to copy him in every detail, except his mistakes.
– Aubrey Menen –

The knives of jealousy are honed on details.
– Ruth Rendell –

“Well, we were always going to fail that one,” said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize he had been describing the examiner’s reflection.
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix –

While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our config.sys settings.
– Dave Barry –

Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person.
– Francois de La Rochefoucauld-

Advice and Mistakes Quotations

The Quippery

Accept good advice gracefully – as long as it doesn’t interfere with what you intend to do in the first place.
– Gene Brown –

Accept the fact that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue!
– Author Unknown –

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
– E. W. Howe –

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
– Red Skelton –

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
– Author Unknown –

Creativity is often blocked by trying to be perfect. Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
– Tony Robbins –

Experience is a marvelous thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake whenever you make it again.
– Franklin P. Jones –

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
– Francois de La Rochefoucauld –

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
– Oscar Wilde –

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
– John Kenneth Galbraith –

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
– Author Unknown –

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.
– Author Unknown –

In each of our stories, we try to teach a little lesson or paint a little moral – things like mother taught: “Walk softly and carry a big stick,” “Strike first, ask questions after” – that sort of thing.
– Alfred Hitchcock –

In the game of life it’s a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
– Bill Vaughan –

It’s better to plan ahead rather than look back at lessons learned from events you didn’t see coming!
– Tony Harris –

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
– Author Unknown –

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.
– Cullen Hightower –

Learn from the mistakes of others – you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
– Author Unknown –

Never believe in mirrors or newspapers.
– Tom Stoppard –

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
– Author Unknown –

Nobody’s running around here with a mistake ruler trying to measure it.
– Night Court –

People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.
– Peter Drucker –

Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others.
– Brandon Mull –

Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
– Author Unknown –

The test is to recognize the mistake, admit it and correct it. To have tried to do something and failed is vastly better than to have tried to do nothing and succeeded.
– Dale E. Turner –

The trouble with using experience as a guide is that the final exam often comes first and then the lesson.
– Author Unknown –

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
– Phyllis Diller –

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.
– Warren Buffett –

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
– Author Unknown –

When nothing goes right… go left.
– Author Unknown –

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
– Author Unknown –

When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
– Erma Bombeck –

Your best teacher is your last mistake.
– Ralph Nader –

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
– Dave Barry –

Grammar and Punctuation at the Bar Quotations

The QuipperyThere are many ‘a man walks into a bar’ jokes, including:

Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

A dyslexic walks into a bra…

There are many variations that include animals, including:

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “We have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper says, “You have a drink called Freddy?”

There are also a few grammar and punctuation bar jokes:

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

A group of homophones wok inn two a bar.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

An ellipsis walks into a bar and says…

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

A period walks into a bar and comes to a full stop.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out! We don’t serve your type.”

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

Two Quotation Marks walk “into a bar”.

– Various Authors, including The Bluebird of Bitterness, Eric K. Auld –

Life and What it Is Quotations

The Quippery

It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another – it’s the same damn thing over and over.
– Edna St. Vincent Millay –

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle but you don’t have the picture on the front of the box to know what it’s supposed to look like. Sometimes, you’re not even sure if you have all of the pieces.
–  A Whack on the Side of the Head –

Life is easier if you dread only one day at a time.
– Charles M. Schulz –

Life is hard. Then you die. In between you are a volunteer.
– Author Unknown (This was my ‘mantra’ during all those years of being on Volunteer Boards!) –

Life is lumpy. And a lump in the oatmeal, a lump in the throat and a lump in a breast are not the same lump. One should learn the difference.
– Robert Fulghum (I collected quotes like this when our youngest child had cancer.) –

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.
– John W. Gardner –

Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.
– Peg Bracken –

Life is tragic, but not necessarily serious.
– Author Unknown –

Life is full of choices – Remove your shoes or mop the floor.
– Author Unknown –

Life is short… ask directions.
– Author Unknown –

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
– Author Unknown –

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
– John Lennon –

Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
– Author Unknown –

Life isn’t a vicarious experience. You get it figured out and then one day life happens to you. You prepare yourself for grief and loss, arrange your ballast and then the wave swamps the boat.
– Garrison Keillor –

Life itself is like an onion: it has a bewildering number of layers; you peel them off, one by one, and sometimes you cry.
– Carl Sandburg –

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
– Mark Twain –

Mid-life means that you become more reflective…You start pondering the “big” questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much ‘Healthy Choice’ ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?
– Author Unknown –

Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them.
– The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon –

Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.
– Susan B. Anthony –

The answer to the great question of… Life, the Universe and Everything…is… Forty-two.
– Douglas Adams –

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
– Bill Watterson –

We believe in the individual’s capacity to grow, develop and change throughout life; that life is the process of becoming, not simply being.
– CP/RA –

Winners expect to win in advance. Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
– Author Unknown –