All posts tagged: Toonaday

What Were You Doing 3287 Days Ago?

Nine years ago (the aforementioned 3287 days) I published my first blog post: Did you Get the H1N1 Flu Shot in 2009. It was not highly successful and has been viewed a grand total of 13 times. At the other end of the scale,  Tricky Questions – Thinking Outside the Box has been quite popular with over 36,000 views. Go figure… That’s the interesting thing about blogging. While I might have a general idea what my readers might find interesting or when it is a good time to catch them in a reading mood, I  have no idea how the Search Engines will promote or trash my posts! I do know this involves algorithms that judge, filter, penalize and reward content, but that is about the extent of my understanding! While the stats for the Tricky Questions post are fascinating to watch,  I like the H1N1 post as much and I love the process of researching and writing.  I’m happy with my blog as a whole –  a scrapbook of my photos, thoughts and ideas …

thinking hat

More Puns – What These Words Can Also Mean!

Can you look deep inside a word and find another meaning? ABASEMENT: Where the furnace is located. ABDICATE: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. AFTERMATH: Relaxation after algebra class. ALARMS: What an octopus is. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds AVOIDABLE: What the bullfighter tried to do. BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline. BARIUM: What the undertaker usually does. BAROQUE: When I spend more than I make. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage. BUCCANEER: The price of a cob of corn. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with. CANTALOUPE: When you can’t run off and get married. CARNATION: Place where every citizen owns an automobile. CATALOGS: Material used to build cow fences. CAUTERIZE: Made eye contact with a woman. COFFEE: The person you coughed on. COLANDER: Someone who arrives on the same plane as you did. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen countertops. CYTOLOGY: The study of real estate. DIPLOMA: Da’ man who fixes da’ pipes DOCKYARD: A physician’s garden. ECLIPSE: What a barber does. FLATULENCE: Emergency …

Tricky Questions – Thinking Outside the Box

How carefully do you read? Do you think ‘outside of the box’? Here are some questions to test your mental mettle! *********************** A clerk at a butcher shop stands five feet ten inches tall and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat *********************** A doctor give you 3 pills and tells you to take one every half hour. How long will it be until all the pills are taken? Answer: An hour, assuming you take the first pill at the beginning of the hour, the second pill half way through the hour, and the third pill at the end of the hour. *********************** A farmer has 10 cows. Lightning kills all but 2 of the cows. How many are still alive? Answer: Two cows are still alive. *********************** A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung on the surface of the water. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long will …

scowling

Note to the Human Vultures

It seems to me the vultures have stopped circling. – Geoffrey Becker – Hidden Valley has been a beehive of activity since the go ahead to enter the flood zone was given by Health Canada and The Siksika Nation. The predominantly senior population have donned safety equipment and entered their properties. For most of them, the recovery of a few precious items is the most they can hope for. A few others are trying to salvage pieces of their home so that they can rebuild elsewhere. The sole road into the area is manned by security guards. This isn’t new. Hidden Valley might appear to be rather remote and isolated, but there have always been Human Vultures who knew how to bypass security. For the most part, they were more an annoyance than anything, but last March, the species know as Vandalis vulturus  caused extensive damage to 25 homes. A few of the homeowners had not yet moved back in before the flood hit. Other vultures have been circling over our flood disaster zone for …

grinning

From Rags to Riches – the Spam Way

I opened a few Gmail accounts a while back – I am migrating from Hotmail to Gmail, though for the life of me I can’t remember what prompted me to do that. Regardless of the reason, I have never checked the Spam box of my Gmail account until today. Imagine my surprise when I discovered all the ways I could be a wealthy woman if I simply follow the instructions in these emails: 1. If I can just help out Mrs.Fatoumata Zongo, the wife to the deceased former Head of Delegation to the World Bank in West Africa, I will get 30% of  US $7 million. Her husband was the linkman between the Organization for Petroleum Exporting Countries – OPEC and the petroleum sector in a West African country. He died from cardiac arrest, though she doesn’t say whether that might have been just after a bullet or an arrow pierced his heart. I suggest this because it appears like Mr. Zongo was a bit of a shady character. He seems to have skimmed the …

scowling

Who is the Artist of Toonaday Cartoons

For many years I subscribed to Ron Leishman’s  Toonaday Digital Clipart. I have used many of  Ron’s toons in my blog posts,  as you can see in the following gallery. Ron is  a fellow Canadian and Albertan (Alberta is a Province in Canada).  Though I have never met him, I have traded emails with him on several occasions, and he has generously created several toons that I requested. I sometimes combine several of his toons to illustrate my story and that makes me appreciate the immense variety of topics he has covered! I didn’t appreciate how hard it is to draw until I tried to do it myself. It is one thing to be able to say, “Of course I know the difference between a pirate and a fire hydrant.”  It is quite a different thing to remember enough detail about each to draw them well. Which one is your favourite? SLIDESHOW: Click on any photo to open a slide show. Press your ‘es-ca-pay’ button to close the slide show.

bandaid

Press Release from The Never Been Freshly Pressed Club

I was just putting the finishing touches on a post about all my blogging friends who have never been ‘Freshly Pressed‘. I was thinking it would be appropriate to form a group of ‘Never Been Freshly Pressed’ (NBFP) bloggers, perhaps design our own badge to put in a widget on our sidebar – celebrate our status as the underdogs. I think everyone roots for the underdog. – Johnny Knoxville I was going to link to some of my fellow underdogs and the first on my list was Steve at The Brown Road Chronicles. He recently wrote about how he has skirted around accusations that he has used the banned substance called ‘Freshlypresstosterone’ in an attempt to achieve Freshly Pressed fame. I guess the drug finally worked –  yesterday Steve was Freshly Pressed. Congratulations Steve – but as self proclaimed President of the NBFP, I’m going to have to kick you out of our club. It breaks my heart to have to do it, but rules are rules. (Note to the Club Secretary – please get …

computer desk paper

Cna Yuo Raed Tihs? (A Spam Story)

How often have you received this email, or one like it? Can you raed this? Olny 55 people out of 100 can. If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends with ‘yes’ in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. How often have you read the email and then sent it off to your friends to show them that you are one of those 55 folks with a great mind? I’ve received this email more times than I can count, and each time it is embellished a bit more. The one in my inbox this morning told me that …

thinking hat

Testing – A Post About Nothing

The test is to recognize the mistake, admit it and correct it. To have tried to do something and failed is vastly better than to have tried to do nothing and succeeded. – Dale E. Turner – Nothing else to say, really.  I didn’t mean to publish this post. I was just testing something. Before I could get it fixed, three of you had left comments. So, who knows – maybe a post about nothing will get more comments than anything else I’ve posted here…

lady camera

Reblogging and Image Copyright – Part 2

I’m not going to pretend I have never violated someones copyright. If I was to follow the strictest terms of the law, then I should include the author and source document of each Quotation I use. I should not have  photographed my Daffy Duck shirt and blogged about it. I’m also a bit unclear as to whether the graphics I bought from The Print Shop can be used on my blog or not… I am, however, a bit touchy about the issue of other bloggers using my Photographs without permission. In a previous post, When Does Reblogging Violate Copyright?, I mentioned that one of my posts had been reblogged. I complained to WordPress about two things: 1. The reblog contained one of my photos, used without my permission. 2. The site that reblogged my post seemed to consist entirely of reblogged posts, without a single word of original content. I haven’t received a reply from WordPress about my complaint, but when I checked the offending blog today, I saw that WordPress had dealt with the …

lady laptop

Scanning my Mind and Computer for Memories

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film. – Unknown – Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could plug one end of a USB cord into your ear, the other into your computer, and download every memory that resides in your brain?  A nifty little software program, like an Access database but far easier to use, would sort the memories by year, topic and any other category you wanted. Then a Scrapbook program would create wonderful photo journals of your life. I mention this because I believe the memory bank in my brain needs to be defragged. Bits of information keep getting mislaid. I found the date of my next Dentist appointment filed with the trip to Galveston in 1979. And The Car Guys office phone number is mixed in with the cost of my car in 1984. Retrieving information can be a challenge some days. It would be nice to have the contents of my brain on my computer – it has a much better search function than my head does. I’m not …

woman computer messages

Comment Etiquette – Do You Reply to All or Just Some?

Google the topic of Comment Etiquette, and even if you spell etiquette wrong (which I did – it is a very tricky word to spell), there will be quite a few sites to check out. WordPress weighs in with ‘Are You Well-Versed in Comment Etiquette‘. I’ve learned a few things about making comments by observation of results. One of them is ‘don’t ever leave a comment on a vegetarian blog if you are not one’. Carnivores are generally not well received, even very polite Canadian ones. Actually, a general rule of thumb is to be very cautious about leaving a  comment anywhere if you realize you are going to be the only one with a dissenting opinion. It is like responding ‘Yes’ when a friend asks you if she looks fat in her new tight jeans. Some things are best left unsaid. I read quite a few blogs, and often I would like to leave a comment. But if there are 30 or 100 comments there already, I realize I have absolutely nothing new to …

dog scales

A Skinny-Obsessed World – Is ‘Fat’ Really the Worst Thing We Can Be?

Paige, at ‘Mastering the Art of Life’ recently wrote a post called ‘My Life as a Number’. She talks frankly about women’s obsession with their weight and dress size, and how those two numbers, if they don’t fall within the criteria dictated by society, can overshadow all the other characteristics that truly describe a person. Paige ends her piece with a quote by J.K. Rowling from the J.K. Rowling Official Site. In a post called ‘For Girls Only, Probably’  J.K. says in part: “Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.” “I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them …

computer desk paper

Clean Your Computer Day

Did you know that there is a National Clean Out Your Computer Day? It is the second Monday in February and it was originally sponsored by The Institute for Business Technology. The task for the day is to do all the maintenance things that keep a computer running well, including giving the physical equipment a good dusting. Personally, I think this needs to happen more than once a year, which is why I’m reminding you to do one small task today. Wipe the grunge off your keyboard, and dust the monitor. I’m not saying you should attack it with disinfectant cloths. Just wipe the coffee and jam stains off the keys with whatever you can find. And then go give your hands a good scrub too. They will probably need it. Now, sit down at your computer and admire your handiwork. A clean keyboard and monitor is like a fresh page of paper and a favourite pen. A new start, where the potential is limited only by… the cluttered distraction of all the stuff around …

chicken dressed up

How to Run in Stilettos – But Why Would You?

The truth is, you can’t run in Stilettos, or most High Heels for that matter. At least the average woman can’t. But that doesn’t stop some women from trying. There are many Stiletto Races staged around the world to raise money for charity, or to promote a product. One of the most recent ones was held in the Philippines. “Michelle Fernandez-Castillo, Maybelline New York Philippines’ senior brand manager, said they decided to bring the race to the country to help empower Filipinas. “The stiletto is the first thing that comes to a woman’s mind whenever she needs something to feel good and look good. Through this race, we hope to show the world how powerful women are,” she declared. Yes, I can certainly see how the women of the Philippines will feel much better about themselves when they put on their stilettos. And they will definitely feel very powerful when they can run in them… Either that, or Maybelline is just using a clever marketing ploy to sell the Filipinas the same boatloads of beauty …

woman talking blah blah blah

Complaints Department – Too Many Words, Too Little Time

The Crabby Lady from the Complaints Department stopped by this morning. “There are just way too many words.” she griped. “They are coming at me from every direction. Phone calls, emails, text messages, internet, radio, TV… You know, people blame all the extreme weather on global warming, but I know what is causing it – all those words whizzing through the airwaves…” Her tirade stopped as suddenly as it started. She realized she had used up most of her quota of words for the morning, and she still had a few to give to the weatherman if he forecast another day of high winds. She slapped a sticky note on my forehead, then marched back to the outer reaches of my mind. The sticky note said, “Cut the crap. You are using too many words.” I shrugged off her stinging criticism, and opened my Google Reader. I follow lots of interesting blogs, and always look forward to seeing what other bloggers have to say. My Google Reader announced, “I’ve missed you. Where have you been …

candles birthday cake fireman

A Fiery Birthday Story

It would be quite all right for me to take the day off today and not write in my blog. It is my Birthday, and I believe a birthday should be a day of indulgence. But I enjoy writing and I like my blog. It is akin to having a child that isn’t ever going to be a teenager. Or owning a cat that doesn’t shed or claw the furniture or choke up fur balls. Or a job I can do from home in my pajamas. Or a car that never needs gas… (Actually, I have a car like that. My  Spousal Unit, The Car Guy, is very good about keeping my car clean, serviced, and gassed up.) So what else have I got planned for the day? I’m not sure yet, but it certainly IS NOT going to involve a birthday cake. The candles are getting so numerous that they pose a fire hazard. I’m not going to talk about getting older either, because, there is no upside to thinking those kinds of self …